Today I am home from work. I have felt unwell all weekend. First it was my stomach, then I woke up feeling almost unable to drag myself to church. I did go, but I left before the service ended, being in some pain, cold, and tired. I went to the mall for a chair massage. That helped some. I drove around, went to the library, went home, went to sleep at some very early hour, I'm guessing around six or so, and woke up at 9:27 PM, believing that it was actuall the next morning. I stayed up for several hours, went back to sleep around one, and woke up almost in tears at the thought of having to go in to work today. I called in sick, laid around for a while, and took a call from the internet service provider that was coming over to upgrade my connection. Since I had completely forgotten about this appointment I was wearing several layers of sweatshirts and warm clothing over my pajamas when the tech arrived.
I have not had much of an appetite these past few days. Normally this wouldn't really worry me, it doesn't actually concern me now, but I know it is evidence that something is off with me. Allergies, exhaustion, something else, I don't know what is going on, but it's not especially pleasant. I didn't leave my place at all on Saturday, yesterday I went out for several hours, today I haven't felt the sun on my face even though I would like to go outside, I'm so tired going down the stairs seems like a possibility, but only if I don't have to climb them again once I am down in my front hall area. I need to take better care of myself, and I'm only partially sure of where to start. A friend called, she is out of town and upset that her parents are drinking as much as they are. She describes them as functional alcoholics, and the term makes me sad, as if only the falling down drunk people are hurting others.
Would like to write more as I have a lot of thoughts, but feeling very tired, and needing to give myself both a mental, and physical break today.
Xoxo,
J