(scrawled in the dark in bed)

I am nauseous and here is why. Men. This is not the rant you think it's going to be. It is all my fault. I am endlessly selfish.

I. A stranger. I tried too hard to impress him. Looked like a fool. Mostly I was angry with myself for spoiling the illusion that I was in control. I so clearly wasn't. He made me stupid. I was ashamed of the way I fawned.

2. It is hard for me to come to terms with

this is too hard

all men are bad
but I am worse