Offenses: Wears multiple skirts at once. Wears long sleeves and a shawl even in the summertime. Mutters.
Verdict: “She’s not old enough to be that weird.”
Offenses: She’s a midget. Her garden is planted crooked.
Verdict: “It’s not that she’s a midget. Don’t think I’m prejudiced. Let her be a midget, see if I care. But she thinks she’s better than the rest of us, just since she’s different. If she really wanted to fit in, she’d get a smaller dog.”
Offenses: Does not shave legs before wearing chartreuse one-piece swimsuit to grocery store. Favors red platform shoes and hotpants when cycling past Aunt’s house. Once smiled at Uncle in greeting-card aisle of drugstore. Generally dangerous character.
Verdict: “I am not discussing that pervert.”