Barely Legal, a
men's magazine published by
Larry Flynt's
Hustler empire, offers pictorials of young, innocent 18-
and 19-year-old girls...or so it claims. Unfortunately, as with most of
Flynt's publications, Barely Legal tries too hard to be extreme and ends
up just looking silly and repulsive.
See, if you think about it, teen porn is tricky: Somehow, you have to
convince your audience that this lovely, innocent girl really wants to rip
off her clothes and screw, screw, screw 'til she
falls into a coma. Even the best magazines have trouble with this
juxtaposition, but it's possible: You have to make it seem as though you
captured her at the very moment that she cast off the bounds of chastity
and blossomed into full sexual liberation. You must, in short, paint her
as a true virgin whore.
Flynt and his minions completely lack the subtlety that this
presentation requires. Girls in other teen-porn magazines often seduce
you with sweet smiles or innocent looks, but in Barely Legal, these looks
are so overexaggerated that the women look as though they've been drugged into submission or lobotomized. Likewise, good teen mags make
their subjects look young and natural, but Flynt's makeup-slathered bimbos
just look fake (no, Larry, you apish turd, you can't make a
30-year-old look 18 by putting her hair in pigtails and making her wear
a Catholic school uniform). Most damning of all, it's a problem with
the mag, not the women--a girl who looks wonderful in another mag will
often look ghastly in Barely Legal.
If you really want a teen-porn mag, check out Tight (if you don't
want penetration) or Hawk (if you do). Leave Flynt's trash rotting on
the rack where it belongs.
Pictorials: 6-8
Girls: Fake teens
Penetration: Rare; finger
Lesbian: 0-1 per issue
Guy/Girl: 0-1 per issue
Group: Rare
Fetish: Occasional food/wet and messy
know_no_bounds's rating: * *