I won't be going to a nodermeet in quite a while. Been reminiscing.
Now as many of you already know, despite my best efforts, I can't write fiction.
I'm afraid you'll have to make do with the truth. It's rather morbid.
A day in the life of Dimview (at least while staying at chez kohlcass)
Sleep. Catbox. Shower. Catbox. Eat. Catbox. Get
dragged outside by kohlcass who insists she should see the outdoors.
Catbox. Watch sumo. Catbox. Sleep.
NB: Actually Dimview was a lovely house guest: pretty low
maintenance, tolerated the cats and managed to digest everything I fed
her. She was, however, worryingly confined by an invsible force to my
laptop. She said I was not authorative enough to drag her away in the
catbox. I say I was short of a couple of rayguns.
I will run for you
Kohlcass: Weren't we supposed to catch a train at 19 40 (to meet Heisenberg)
Dimview: Uh, yes... it's 19 32. (The station is 12 minutes away at a leisurely pace).
...
(8 minutes later)
*pant pant pant*
Dimview: We made it!
*pant pant pant*
Kohlcass (spotting a WC): Ok I'm heading in there to wear my bra, now.
On sam512 ( who was there in spirit)
So which node'll you be reading at the meet tomorrow.
A sam512 one.
Er...
You?
So which sam512 node will you be reading then?
NB:
I am still fan #1: I've played the podcasted version of the The First Ed Story enough to hear that Sam calls 'the black
suits' 'white suits' about eight seconds later.
On photographing Dimview
“Ok,
Dimmie”, says kohlcass, standing on a chair, “Props, more props. We’re
going for a… FINE, I’M going for a soft portrait, bathed in white
light. Try to ignore the computer for a minute, place the rose across
your chest… yes, yes… ok now let Poison sit on your lap”.
Dimview
considers this for a second, ripping away some rose petals, then kicks
Poison aside, feeds the rest of the rose to the feline and gets back to
catboxing. At least we’re in character.
We never did go to Düsseldorf
Kohlcass is asked 'What's the best thing about Germany?'
Kohlcass considers saying 'apple and onion flavoured leberwurst' for a second and then decides 'Düsseldorf.'
Heisenberg chokes on his halb hünchen. This nearly kills him.
Incommunicado
'Hello, this is kohlcass. You must be Kizor?'
>>STRANGE ROBOTIC NOISE EMANATES<<
'I didn't quite get that.'
>>ROBOT NOISE FURTHER MALFUNCTIONING<<
'Ok. You're writing it down... what do you mean you're surprised to see I'm not a cat-person?'
NB: No. I am not a cat.
Dimview and the catbox II
'Well
if my house were burning down, I'd probably write 'Oh look my house is
burning down' in the catbox before actually doing something about it'
On Catholics and others
Kohlcass and Heisenberg walk into Cologne cathedral.
A bolt of lightning hits Heisenberg, killing him instantly.
NB: That was not a public orgasm.
And
yes, I get excited when I meet noders of a
certain, shall we say, e2 calibre. So keep in mind I'm not exactly your
go-to girl if you neeeded a, say, wertperch interview, or something. I
rarely could get my jaw to hinge back properly for a good ten minutes
after meeting IWhoSawTheFace, so, despite an early sneak preview, I
lost some of my basic functionalities when Heisenberg introduced the
podcast.
Dimmie, Dimmie-view, where are you?
Dimview, Kohlcass and Wntrmute wander about Zeche Zollverein.
Kohlcass, Wntrmute and Dimview take photos of the Kokerei.
Wntrmute, kohlcass and Dimview take photos of each other.
Wntrmute, Dimview and kohlcass try to make it to Schacht III.
Kohlcass, Wntrmute and Dimview take photos of each other.
Wntrmute and kohlcass walk across a raised passageway.
Dimview takes photos of kohlcass and Wntrmute.
Wntrmute and kohlcass wonder where Dim's gone off too.
...
...
Kohlcass panics about losing her first noder. Her brain explodes.
Wntrmute wipes away the carnage.
Triple Sec
We return to kohlcass, Dimview and Wntrmute shortly after kohlcass had tried feeding the latter alcohol through his wrist veins.
“Must… phone… Paraguay (one more time).”
“Ok
Wntrmute, this is what we’re going to do. You
grab her by the torso… I’ll take her by the legs. We’re
gonna drag her to bed, take away her phone, close the door and hope she
stops singing.”
Kohlcass makes a run for the laptop...
(on msn) “OMGWTFBBQ!1!”
(in the catbox) “OMGWTFBB… Aargh!”
*door slammed shut*
Kohlcass reemerges, met by two pairs of menacing eyes.
“Ok, ok, I’m only going to pee...”
Tschüss
"Goodbye, Wntrmute. This is very sad."
"Er… you know we’re seeing each other in
only three weeks, don’t you?"
It was still a farewell... how is a farewell but see you in three weeks going to fly, then?