Rewriting the Front Page Blurb

Today's task is simple: rewrite the little blurb on the front page that currently reads

Don't know what this site's about? Don't understand what's going on? Can't instinctively act on your primitive aggression? Check out the Everything FAQ (or) Everything University to learn more!

with something of your own. The only requirements are that it should be roughly the same length of the original, and it needs to be useful and comprehensible to guest users as well as logged-in users, since both of them read it. UPDATE: Please post your submission as "hidden." I will do my best to make this node visible and voted on by the users.

Submissions should go in this node. All submitters will receive 25XP and a C! to spend from yours truly (unless they are crap, then out come the pokey sticks.)

The deadline for submissions is May 2 at midnight server time - that gives you almost a week to come up with something good.

After the deadline, we will run a poll with the top 10 entries (determined by votes), and the submission with the most votes wins. And then we can all complain about how much it sucks and we wish we could change it. Hooray!

After we've picked the winner, all writeups here will be deleted, so this won't affect your merit or whatever, you big crybabies. VOTERS: please take a little extra time when considering your votes on these writeups. Thanks.

Questions go to me. Good luck!