Some things have the
power to touch us, to
arouse our senses, to leave us
hopelessly
distracted when it comes to the rest of the
world. Some
sensations can just
disconnect us from
reality entirely. These are the things that you never want to
forget. These are things that you want to last
forever. But they
fade, they always
fade, no matter how hard you try to
remember. They no longer have that
power to
enrapture absolutely. What once
enthralled you has been
replaced in a continuous
cycle of new memories and new
experiences.
I am reminded specifically of my ex-boyfriend's cologne. It was one of the first things I noticed about him, a clue that he was there, or would be there soon. It was my olfactory cue, that warm, rich smell that surrounded me when we touched. I liked the way his smell and my smell combined. I liked the way we flooded each others senses, and how easy it was to drown. But nothing lasts forever.
I'm one of those kleptomaniac girlfriends; over the course of our relationship I filched half a dozen assorted T-shirts and sweatshirts, all steeped in the smell of him. I still have them, but he is gone, and now, with the scent wearing out of them, it is both disconcerting and heartening to discover that I am becoming immune.