Happy Valentine's, happy Monday, happy 2011, happy 5:11 am here.
I'm going to Eugene today to do round three of the Mad as Hell Doctors, wanting health care dollars to go to health care, not to insurance companies.
I'll be returning via Portland Wednesday night.....any noders around there I could see? I'm hoping to stay with old friends, but they may be out of town. Msg me if anyone is free....
Concert on Friday and yesterday. I've been in chorus with my father for 11 years. He is frailer and frailer. The practices started in September and he only made it to a bit more than half the rehearsals. He often sat down during them and brought his oxygen.
He didn't make it to the concert on Friday. Did not feel well enough. The director told both him and me that he'd already contributed a lot to the basses. My father has emphysema, worsening fast this year. But he is the one who does the entrances beautifully, even if he can't sustain.
Sunday morning I called him and he said he would be there. I got to the church at 2 for the warm-up. A friend told me that he had called her, and was not going to make it after all. I cried during the warm-up. The director saw my face and carefully didn't look at me again. She cries easily, and usually cries in our concerts. I was able to put it aside during the concert and sing, and even enjoy it. Though with a deep well of sadness. I've been singing with my dad since I could first make noise.
I called him after the concert. He sounded ok. I didn't feel I had to drive out and drag him to the emergency room, as I've done twice before. I'll go by today on my way to Eugene.
I went to a friend's and cried. She fed me cheese and nuts and tea. I picked up my daughter and we had dinner and I fell asleep on the couch, toes tucked under her while she read.
A choral member said, "In two weeks you'll be talking about this at the church." We're doing a program at the church on end of life issues. Close to the bone right now. Close to the heart.