I want to forgive something
Someone
In fact a group
Something that hurt a lot
I've tried logic
I tell myself
"It was an expression of concern"
My heart doesn't agree
It is sullen
Immobile and grumpy
It whispers
"They have not apologized"
It whispers
"When people say you're crazy
It could be a joke
An expression of concern
It wasn't
It was a palm held out
At arm's length
To distance me."
My head argues
"That's what it felt like to you.
You don't know their intentions."
I want to write
A poem of forgiveness
Hoping my heart will follow
My conscious doesn't write my poems
My conscious wrestles with an idea
The poem comes out of this struggle
I look at the poem I've written
I think,
"That is what I would like
my conscious heart to feel."
My poem is often more generous
than my conscious feels
My poems are not mine
They are a gift
From the unconscious
It is much larger
Than the small conscious me
I dream of feeling envy
I climb into a bathtub
And transform myself
To battle a trickster
We are transported
To the bottom of the ocean
In the ocean
The trickster and I are one
It is unlimited
It is not my unconscious
There is no separation
It is all unconscious
I did not think
A poem would give forgiveness
But pain drove me
Into the sea
I am connected
You gave me these pearls
Thank you