The Ballad of Mark the Kramer (how-to)

My first and last attempt at a one night stand was raided by the police	She dumped me when she found out I'd been faking my Scottish accent	Sassenach	Common Glasgow, Edinburgh and Scottish colloquial terms and words
It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead	March 28, 2012	Battle of Flodden	I met Death face to face, and I mocked her!
Flower Of Scotland	Banana Boat	Oolong	Boatswain
Rum, Sodomy and the Lash	Richard Sylbert	The AntiDating Patch	Flodden Field
All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck	Grog	March 30, 2012	broken heart syndrome
The Axeman of New Orleans	Battle of Bramham Moor	The Laws of William the Conqueror