I'm finally falling. A beautiful weekend left me on a high to start the week, but now my mood has turned positively sour. All the joy that was in my fingers all week long has begun to seep out. While the realization he seems to care for me after all in spite what's-not-meant-to-be was an energizing detail that made me smile and think of pretty things, the eventuality of the reality of it all is dissipating that energy. It's going be a long, slow ride down.

I don't want to post any more mushy nodes right now but they're all I want to write, so this helpdesk shift is passing like my great-uncle's kidney stones. I don't even actually have a great uncle.

Classes are catching up with me, and there's nothing I want to do. I'm an art major now. Quantum mechanics can kiss my ass.

I know this will pass in a day or two and the glowing yumminess of the world will have me dancing again, but for now I feel like I've been suppressing a scream for weeks.

It's everything. It's the art professor who only cares about the three students who knew what they were doing before he started teaching. It's everyone talking about politics. It was my housemate's kids taking a bath and splashing and screaming at 8 o'clock this morning while I was trying to get five more minutes of sleep.

Or maybe it's just the rain.