In October of 1975, when Jim Henson’s Muppets “hosted” Saturday Night Live, SNL sketch writer Michael O’Donoghue let his feelings about it be known. “I don’t work with felt”, he said at the time.
Maybe that’s how Toodles McGower saw it, too. It was on every morning, at six a.m. Monday through Friday, on Channel 13. “The McGower Hour with Toodles McGower”. It was like a news show, but a news show for kids.
The theme music played and there was Toodles, with Smiley the Crocodile and Poseidon the Sea Lion. Toodles McGower had black horn rim glasses. He wore white collared shirts and a look of pain, often. As if he would rather be anywhere else.
You could understand why. It was called “The McGower Hour” but most of the time, Toodles took a backseat to his felted co-hosts. And Poseidon and Smiley could be quite a handful. Especially when six thirty-five rolled around.
Six thirty-five was the weather report. You knew what was coming. You turned up the volume and moved your chair close. Sunshine in Miami, Toodles would say, but twenty-six in OshKosh with four inches of …
“SNOW!”
Poseidon and Smiley chimed in, and fake snow would fall in buckets, and buckets. Rain in Wilmington, ice storm in Tulsa. Whatever the inclement weather happened to be, no matter where, it came down in torrents on Toodles McGower.
There were craft projects too. Stuff you made with popsicle sticks and old orange juice cans. Cartoons, but not good ones. Snuffy Smith, Beetle Bailey. Heckle and Jeckle. You watched the show mostly to see what befell poor ol’ Toodles.
That day began just like any other; got up at six, turned on the TV. Had breakfast, got dressed, got ready for school. Six thirty-five, sunny in Tampa, a light dusting of snow...he raised his hand and you saw something flash. The black horn rims clattered. You heard a loud crack like the end of a world.
The screen went to static for what seemed like forever. When it came back on, Channel 13 ran an episode of “Land of the Lost”. Later, the station issued a statement, an apology “for any distress this regrettable action may have caused our viewers”. But no explanation. Nothing about why he did what he did.
Sounds strange to say, but I sort of miss Poseidon and Smiley. They were funny. I liked them. They had faces and names, and that made them real.
Toodles McGower had a name and a face, and it made him less real. People have asked me, would you have watched, if you had known. I smile and I say, if you have to ask....I don't like to think I'm that way inside. That it's always been there, growing and waiting. That I've only been working with felt all this time.