I usually have
dreams, but only in the waking hours between the time I'm supposed to be up and the time I actually get up.
Lucid dreams, always. So real you can almost
touch them, and some so close that you can't. The few stolen moments after your alarm clock goes off, but you decide against better
judgement to just shut those peepers -- "just one more minute, I need one more minute of sleep to start my day
just one more--just one--just-- zzzzz
This dream was of the same nature. Sometimes I awake from them with a numbness, a fear, a sort of angst about the reality that has just been destroyed -- in my head. The person I fell in love with for a night, and the long lost love that is literally, only in my dreams. Lucid dreams can be confusing, because you aren't always sure what's going on. Places might seem backwards, or faces might not make sense. The brain recreates things, but on it's own terms.
I never eat a taco bell. But there I was, right in the middle of it all. What I ordered was trivial, what I was thinking or feeling was trivial, but I had this one big question on the tip of my tongue. There was a most beautiful girl at the counter, and I wanted to ask her something. I wanted her to ask someone something, but I'm not quite sure what it was. She told me that she didn't usually ask this question, that I was asking her to ask, but that employees usually take it into consideration on a case-to-case basis -- That if the person asking were cute enough then it would happen. I asked her if she thought I was cute. And, I don't know why it seemed so shocking, or why it evoked the feelings that it did, but I was really impressed when she said yes. Back to the confused faces, I thought I had never met this person before... I thought I had never spoken with them, in my dream it was only a stranger. She said, "
The phone rings and it's my sister. She's recovered her stolen bike, some jackass stole it a few weeks back and they recovered it in a pawnshop. Fuck. It's now 7:55, five minutes before my first class. The image of this person is now lost because the abrupt awakening
All morning long, I tried to think of that person, the person that I started to dream about. Thinking about it some more, and retracing thoughts, thinking back... and, it’s someone I know. It's someone that I hold very dear to me. It's... you.