Woke up
hungover, tired and depressed. I had a dream, and in it my grandfather died- I woke up sad, then remembered that my grandfather
is already dead , he died at the end of
December. The
love of my life wasn't in bed, he'd gotten up to do some work (
damn that pager and its infernal untimely beeping!) so I had no-one to tell my sadness to. I went
back to sleep.
When I awoke again, a fairly uneventful day unfurled; hanging out with friends, bursting into tears whenever I was alone. Cleaning up the kitchen after yesterday's party, in the bathroom, playing Tekken: all apparently cause for weeping. Oh yeah.
I need my Zoloft. I need the doctor to give me a nice sample pack for free, then I'll get my act together. I promise.
We saw 'Requiem for a Dream' today. It was worse than I thought it would be- in a harrowing sense, not a "that was the worst movie ever" sense. Heart-breaking and beautiful. It (surprisingly) didn't help my mood.
I ate too much, I cried too much, I bitched at jt too much today.
I promise tomorrow I'll be good.