Christmas was bogus when I was a secular humanist. Christmas was bogus when I was a neo-pagan new ager. Shortly after giving my life to Jesus Christ I understood why.

"So are you all ready for Christmas?" the grocery checkout girl asked. "No. We don't do Christmas." Mrs. Milspec responded. "Oh!? Well, how come?" was the stunned response of the checkout girl. "Truth?" "Yes truth." "Because I'm a christian and Christmas is not." replied Mrs. Milspec. "What?!"

And so it was. Another year had come and gone, and the season was upon us again. The time of year when everyone fancies themself a little kinder, a little better, a little more christian. Christian by association. Christian by proxy. Christian by feeling.

Being a christian is about none of these superficial things, but that will have to wait for another write-up.

It was once said, or something close to it, that "The unexamined life is not worth living." What does this mean? Especially what does this mean in relation to not celebrating Christmas? To examine something you must question it? Let's question Christmas, shall we.

In our best gum-shoe schtick.

Christmas. Is that your real name? Are you known by any aliases? Why ChristMAS and not ChristDAY?

C'mon Christmas! Cooperate and we'll go easy on ya!"

How old are you? Why are you on December 25? Where were you in the first century A.D.? Where were you in 2000 B.C.? What's with the tree thing? And all the decorations? What's with the present thing? What the heck is a yule log? Tell us about this Saint Niklaus fellow you've been hanging around. How come your boy Jesus never mentions you?

Come on Christmas! Speak up! We haven't got all night!