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I have noticed yet another strange cultural phenomenon. I am allowing for the fact that this may have been going on for a very long time, however I have only noticed it just recently (about as recently as those threadbare bras that accent the nipple(an ironic coincidence which will make itself apparent momentarily) and the popularity of string strapped, suck-tight tank-tops.

We shall use me as the counterexample for obvious reasons (because I am perfect numbering among the more prominent :D). When I leave my house, I do it in climatically comfortable clothing. Because of this, it was only a matter of time before yet another of our worlds bumbling idiocies made itself evident to me. No matter where I go... I see them. They are all wearing string strapped, suck-tight tank-top shirts. This in itself is not the problem, the problem is that for some reason they are always hunched over with their arms across their chest as if they:
  • Feel like they may be assaulted at any moment.
  • Are very, very cold
  • Have recently convinced themselves that everyone is staring at their tits
If any one of these is true, why exactly is this person wearing a fucking string strapped, suck-tight tank-top? I am completely baffled. I am becoming more and more convinced each day that fashion is the name of a disease. There is absolutly nothing attractive about a woman scooting down the sidewalk with her shoulders hunched up around her ears and her arms folded protectively over her recently caved in chest cavity no matter how tight her clothing is.

So granted, it's really not all that big of a deal; not that dangerous, perhaps a mere ten or twenty women die of hypothermia in the name of fashion per year, but how absolutly ridiculous it is stacked together with everything else we do in this culture so that people will be attracted to us. Utter foolisheness.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
--Mary Schmich, Speech to MIT's Graduating Class,
Circa 1997