I was actually just making a joke about this (In
The Musical Tampon Effect). Every
girlfriend that I have had for any
considerable length of time has sent me off to the market to pick up pads and or tampons for them. Upon my return, no matter how many times I've done it before, they are smiling and
giddy about the whole thing.
I even had a
girlfriend once who used to tell people about it at fucking parties.
Come one come all; SEE thee fantaastic and amazing, moJoe, the Wonder Pooch! He will fetch yoah tampons and other female type nether-region accessories! Step right up!
I sat tight lipped, clutching my beer as I was transformed into
Jo Jo the Dog Faced Boy right before everyone's eyes. The reason for all the jaw dropped, pie-hole gaping amazement is apparently that most men cannot or will not even attempt to carry out this
arduous task under any
circumstances. Idiots.
I must inform the women in the audience that, should you obtain the services of a man who will buy you tampons and face the stares and gasps of other store
patrons and even
clerks -- Who think that you are going to what; take them home and stick them in your ass? I mean, I have actually had a clerk
giggle at me and wiggle the box of "Light Days" Tampax tampons
luridly in my
direction.
ahem...
At any rate... I digress; as I was saying, if you do obtain the services of such a man, don't giggle, don't gape, don't thank him profusely as if he had saved your
triplets from a
burning wreck and lost 80% of his flesh to the
apocalyptic inferno and under no circumstances are you to ever tote him around at parties like some sort of
new-age-sensitive-guy-party-favor. Just say thank you, head for the bathroom and take care of your
business.