(idea) by monoceros Thu Dec 22 2005 at 1:24:42

  1. Want to jump on the newfangled stereo bandwagon, but all your company's recordings are in mono? Don't worry. Simply "electronically reprocess" them into fake "stereo". Don't worry that this sounds awful.
  2. Sell the same stuff in as many different formats as possible. If you're lucky, many people will buy the same stuff over and over (particularly "Classic Rock"). LP, 8-Track cartridge, audio cassette, CD, DVD-A, SACD, legal download. That last one's particularly good, because it gives rise to...
  3. Offer your music in downloadable format, but impose restrictions on what the buyer can do with it. Attempt to have restrictions backed by what many allege to be an overly punitive law. When buyer wants to listen to their music away from their computer/dead iPod/whatever, have them buy it again. And again.
  4. Sell the same stuff in the same format multiple times. For example; reissue an album on CD. Later on, release a 'Digitally Remastered' version of that album on CD, but with a few problems or badly-done artwork. Later still, release another Digital Remaster with nicely-done artwork.
  5. Take albums that have been successful in another country; remove as many tracks as you think you can get away with, and sell the record. After doing this with a few albums, compile a new record from the spare tracks, and sell that too. You may wish to replace some missing tracks with singles that the artist never wanted to appear on an album.
  6. Bonus Tracks; include some "rare" or "previously unreleased" tracks on your reissued CD. These were often "rare" or "previously unreleased" for a reason; they weren't very good. However, some completists will buy anything by their favourite artist.
  7. Point out that version of album on sale was compromised, and never what the artist intended. Put out new, 'faithful' version of the album. Even if it isn't.
  8. Compile a new 'Best of' or 'Greatest Hits' for Band X every couple of years. If band is still active, but no-one really gives a monkeys about their new material, include a couple of new 'singles' to justify a new compilation anyway. These will flop, so can be replaced by a different set of new singles that no-one wants on the next 'Greatest Hits'.

I like it!