It's getting real hard not to look for the karmic
angle. I live within a rich and evolving personal
mythology, but lately all the sense I've been able to make of it has
put it firmly in either Greek tragedy or sitcom territory (it's
hard to tell sometimes).
•
The girl of my dreams and I are having lunch,
and a lot of fun. True to the mother of all romantic
comedy cliches, I make her laugh. We joke about the dreadful
food. It's an hour-long conversation stretching from the bus that took
us here to the bus back. It's the latest in a series of positive social
encounters that are doing wonders for my geek
ego.
I stick to the rules: Upbeat conversation, eye contact. It comes
naturally though I'd never have guessed that about me. This girl... It's a miracle I can be coherent around
her, let alone impress her. We talk and talk. She practically asks me out. We change locations while the
conversation flows.
The whole thing is her doing; She has single-handedly lifted me up
from a week of limerent fear, uncertainty and doubt and
she doesn't even know.
Of course there's a catch. There's always a catch.
•
Murphy's Law is a special case of karma where you just accept up
front that you're fucked. The balance is always in favor
of the universe screwing you over with all its might. This cannot be
reversed. "Ya think you're having fun now, huh? Well dodge this..."
•
My brain actually blurred out the precise moment she said "this is
my boyfriend X, etc. etc." but I'm pretty sure that
was what she said. To ask would be blowing my
cover so I didn't.
She's taken.
Figures. I had it coming for assuming she was available, for daring
to fall for her like that, for enjoying my time with her that much.
Or, shit just happens. Viciously timed, yes, but it just does.