A different Maria Schneider is the cartoonist responsible for the intensely comforting comic strip "Pathetic Geek Stories," which can be found in the A.V. Club section of The Onion. You can send in your own stories of humiliation and cluelessness to Maria, and she just might make you the subject of her weekly cartoon.

In the title of Pathetic Geek Stories, Maria claims that all the stories sent in are true. Well, my brother's friend's submission is living proof that some (or at least one) of the published comics are based on fantasy, but the cartoonist doesn't know that (his story made her cry).

Real or not, Maria's Pathetic Geek Stories are very therapeudic, and can be found on The Onion's website, at www.theonion.com.