I am holding the smell of it on my skin. At 11:30 tonight I was ready to go to bed. My first day of classes is tomorrow and I was sleepy. I couldn't go to sleep yet because I had a date with some crazy women: Midnight. The Dock. Us. Naked.

I went ahead of them.

It's been a rough year and I am standing full circle on the shore of it letting the lake water lap my feet just like I was doing this time last year, and I am tired and I am hopeful that I have actually learned from the past and something miraculous and new is waiting for me.

I sat on the dock alone waiting for the others letting the water knocking under the wood remind me of all the women who had come before me, listening to the night sounds, watching the stars and the opposite shore and letting their minds wander.

My friends showed up and one by one we disappeared into that black water, crashed it's mysterious surface with much screaming and thrashing and joy. We were glad to be together, glad to be in the lake, glad to be back home.

With lake water on me and all sorts of mistakes and horror behind me, somehow now I know classes can begin.