Unfortunately, my father was dead and buried before I realized either one of us was human. As a kid, he was just an enigma, not that I knew what an enigma was, but he was quite a puzzle. He worked hard from 5 to 3, drank hard from 3 to 7, and slept hard from 7 to 4. Didn't leave much time for us to get to know one another.

He was also in very poor health, mostly from drinking and smoking and he was 50 years older than me. And me, as an only child without any fatherly advice, didn't have a clue. I just stumbled along, mostly did what he asked of me, watched him get older, and sicker, and I went off to Vietnam. Shortly after I returned, he died.

It was only years later, when I would suffer frustrations as a father myself, or as an alcoholic just like he was, or as a man who hated his job , but kept on doing it anyway, that I finally began to understand that my dad was just as human as I was. And like me, most of his life, he didn't have a clue. He just did the best he could and got very little respect or understanding. It happens to the best of us.

He's been gone about 30 years now and I get to know him and respect him a little more as time keeps on slipping by, and my life experiences ring true of his..it's crazy, but trust me, what goes around, comes around. Goodnight Dad.