it
rained most of the
weekend. not an
exciting rain, either. just a
dismal mist constantly falling.
we went out to dinner at the palm.
craig ordered the biggest
prime rib i've ever seen, and i got what must have been three chickens worth of blackened chicken breast. craig talked me out of a salad and into the
calamari appetizer. the
wine was good, a bottle of
1997 neibaum-
coppola merlot. we skipped dessert, paid the
valet and went home.
we woke up and made a long trek to
maryland for a friend's
graduation party, then back to my place. a friend of craig's called and invited us out for
drinks and so we headed back down to
virginia and eventually to a pool hall. i turned into
super-ultra-mega-bitch and wanted to go home and eventually got my way. i was tired. then craig's roommate had "a few friends" over, but promised they wouldn't be "too loud". i woke up at 3 am thinking that there was a live
concert going on in the living room. of course i took it out on my
boyfriend, like any good
girlfriend would.
after finally getting some
sleep, we woke up and decided to head to
BFE for a gun show. i joined the
NRA finally. i've been meaning to for quite some time. i don't agree with all their
politics, but i do want to help beef up their membership numbers. the more people join, the less it's perceived as a
lunatic fringe. yes i'm a gun owner (
ruger kp89). i enjoy the
sport of target shooting and soon i will start on
skeet. i also want to be a woman involved with the NRA to show that not all women are
Rosie O'Donnell following chicken-heads. cluck cluck cluck.
after the gun show: grab some
dinner, pick up some
hard cider, and head off to visit craig's
family. then back to my house and in bed early enough to wake up in time for work.
before my alarm went off i woke up to the sound of amazing
thunder claps. i don't know how craig slept through it, but he did. i hopped in the
shower, got dressed, headed to
work and here i am.
procrastinating again. i promised myself i'd actually buckle down and try to be a good
employee this week, but i really feel like i've just lost hope in being
happy with a
technically oriented job. i need to snap my fingers and have millions of dollars so i can
hike and
fly and
go and
do. oh-that-sounds-like-fun-let's-go trips to wherever. whenever. between trips i'll stay at home and
paint or go
walking through local parks, or just whatever. hell, if necessary to
sweeten the deal, i'll offer to be the
perfect housewife. i'll learn how to
cook and
clean and do
laundry and make
martinis. and i promise not to get
too fat.
what i've learned about working in the technology field is this: it's all about swinging
penises (the plural of penis is
penes, but it never quite looks right). i don't necessarily think the IT field is a mans game, but it does seem to be a big
competition... highest
salary, biggest
office, most exclusive airline membership club (super ultra deluxe presidents elite red carpet club), who has the trendiest designers latest variation of
tan pants, who can spend the most on ugly clunky shoes (i know men who own more shoes than any female i know), who has the latest and greatest
sports car or
SUV. yeah it's cool when you've got the nicest car in your circle of friends, but when next years model comes out, someone is invariably going to out-do you.
i live pretty
modestly all in all. i haven't bought new clothes since i absolutely had to (last year when i lost a bunch of weight), i own two, maybe three pairs of
shoes. my car is an almost-paid-off
1995 honda del sol. i live in a small
apartment. sure, it'd be nice to have one of each high class super ultra elite everything (
car,
house,
clothes,
electronics, etc), but i can't really
afford it, and even if i could i don't think i would actually
BUY any of it. my car works, my clothes keep me
warm, my
roof doesn't
leak, basic
cable (which has all the
educational tv i need) shows up fine on my 27" tele, and the
laptop provided by my
employer works fine (i don't own one of my own). but i still kinda feel like people think i'm a
cro-magnon for not owning (and not wanting to own) a
palm pilot and a palmtop computer, not having a super fast car, name brand clothes, a
dvd player or a
computer of my own.
craig tells me not to
worry about it... that i'm being smart by planning for the
future. he says most of his friends who live large and have one of
everything are living so far beyond their means that it is
discusting. perhaps this is true. but they still look at me like i'm a
pauper. or quite possibly i'm just
paranoid.