my shame

lonely heart, you were right to leave
you were right to give up on me
came so far only to fall again
lord, how i feel like i'm anchored to my shame 

tried so hard not to lose myself in this
gave it all for a moment's bliss
and falling stars, they never interfere with dreams
lonely heart, you would always stand for what could never be 

gave my word that i couldn't live my life without you
but now i've learned that words will seldomn mean
what you want them to
and so i try to imagine how things could have been
lonely heart, you were always there when i needed him 

how many more times
will it take to get it right?
i'm guilty of such crimes
i can hardly sleep at night 

my shame, my senseless shame
is calling me by name 

so i ran free until i could barely breathe
and though you'd asked me not to leave
how could i stay? should i just pretend?
lonely heart, you were always there, to the bitter end 

- written by Eryn Holbrook, 2000
- appears on the album Now or Never, Perpetual Dream Theory, 2002