• First, you must find a dealer. This is very important because if you don't have a dealer from which to leech psychic energy, then you'll be just another mediocre crackhead. Your dealer should be smart (or at least appear as such), confident, and pursuasive. Namely: Everything you're not, that's why you're smoking crack, right?
  • Next, devote yourself to your dealer wholeheartedly. You must be willing to do the dealer's bidding always! He wants a new deck for his car? Sure! No problem! Blowjob for a dub! Anytime, sir! This is of key importance, since you'll be a pro cracksmoker, you must act as such. See Step 1 for further reference, you moooron!
  • NEVER EVER EVER leave your dealer for another, unless he's got better stuff, for cheaper, at that. If your dealer runs outta product, dont fret! Just hang outside his house for a few hours until he either shoots you or comes cricket with some yum yum!
  • If you ever do desert your dealer, you better steer clear! Chances are, he's got a Mosberg pump or something like that, and he's waiting to stuff it down your throat and go KABOOM!
  • You will die eventually, but don't worry. Living the life of a pro crackhead is very good karma! Chances are, you'll be reincarnated as a white rhino or some other endangered species, ripe for extinction.
  • Jah is your co-pilot, never forget that, mon!