discofever is actually the foreman for a
cracker factory in
Argentina where he oversees the
insertion of
salt pieces onto the tops of crackers, he secretly
steals a couple each day at work and takes
them
home to feed his fifty foot
boa constrictor in the
bathroom.
ElectricMollusk was spawned from a can of
sardines once owned by
Napoleon, he has been struck by
lightning four times.
yossarian was once
duped into purchasing a
house constructed of
balsa wood.
It has been
rumored that
ailie is actually a
time traveller from the
future, she possesses the
ability to
transform oranges into
cars and vice versa. Better be careful around her.
Dman was
spotted smuggling small
kittens across the border of an unnamed
Eastern European country, he was caught,
interrogated for 12 hours,
tortured by the water torture method for 5, and
released when all proved useless. He now resides in an
underground cave equipt with high tech
blenders.
zot-fot-piq was discovered in an
arctic ice flow, thawed out, and found to be 4000 years old, having 7
fingers per hand, and a small patch of
fur behind his right
ear.
Knarph purchased a small box from a
roaming vendor, inside this box was a
leprechaun. He taught the leprechaun to perform
gymnastic tricks in his living room for entertainment, he would frequently invite guests over to watch. One day while knarph was passed out from a rowdy night of drinking, the leprechaun escaped and took most of knarph's posessions with him. That is how we ended up with the
plea to
Help keep knarph from being evicted and/or starving.
SpinyNorm consists of a small desert
cactus which has been fused with a multitude of
electrodes by the
US Army and wired to a computer in one of the craftiest attempts at
AI to date. He is noticably more
cranky after the incident where 1/4 of him was eaten by a ranging and helplessly hungry
coyote.
Saige was once walking on the
beach, when she was suddenly
accosted by
a bear riding a bicycle which had escaped from a travelling
zoo five hundred miles away. The bear, being rather tired from this long journey on such a small
bicicle proceeded to eat Saige's left
arm, as well as one
toe from her right foot. After doing this, the bear proceded to
maul several other people further down beach and subsequently fell into much needed
sleep. When authorities finaly arrived on the scene, Saige was whisked to a
hospital and had a
monkey arm (treated with
nair)
grafted on. However they forgot to graft on a new
pinky toe, which is why Saige refuses to go without
socks.
artfuldodger comprises of a secret misguided Nasa experiment to make men of
herculean a strength by fusing men with
rocks. Consequently, he is no
stronger than the average man, but is required to carry around a 90 extra pounds in weight as his bones are made of
granite. Once overcoming the horrible
lethargy due to his new weight, he was still quite
bitter and embarked upon a spree of
pushing over old ladies and putting used chewing
gum onto the underside of public
tables.