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As in: Kentucky Fried Chicken's "eleven secret herbs and spices"

Kentucky Fried Chicken is a fast food chain which makes great claim to "eleven secret herbs and spices." In an attempt to bring down this evil empire of tasty fried things, I have searched in vain for these eleven herbs and spices. In the process I've learned some interesting things:

  1. Many sources claim that pepper and MSG are key secret spices. In fact, the book Big Secrets claims to have performed a chemical analysis and found only four secret spices: salt, flour, ground Black Pepper and MSG.
  2. A Rice University student newspaper (The Thresher) claims that one of the secret ingredients is lead. I think this is a joke, because they also are careful to point out that the biscuits are lead free!
  3. The KFC corporation corporate operator claims the recipe does exist and it is stored in a Kentucky vault. For some reason this operator would not tell me the contents of said secret recipe. Either she does not know, or she is one of the conspirators.
  4. A fellow alumnus from my high school worked in a KFC for two years. He knows for a fact that his particular greasy chicken site had twelve secret spices - every morning these heathen boys would piss in the daily batter. As disturbing as this story is, he claimed it was completely true.