black zombie (thing)

Careful with this one, folks. It's supposed to pack a no-holds barred, caffeinated punch. I hold no responsibility for what ensues afterwards (that includes sun spot activity, government conspiracies, and the prevention of gingivitis). And despite what you might think, it does not taste that bad. No effort to "chug" or "pound" the ZOMBIE should be attempted. Practice safe drinking.

hey, you didn't want to sleep anyway, right?

---

what you'll need

• 1 can coke
  (or jolt if you never really liked that heart thing you got, anyway)
• 1 T instant coffee
  (caffeinated, duh)
• 1 T your choice of some general foods international coffee
  (and, no, you don't have to sing the jingle)
• 2 crushed NoDoz
  (it's important to use NoDoz because of their mere mintiness)
• 1 tall nickle content steel alloy mug
  (corrosion resistant)

what to do

1. First open yer soda like long before you need it...like a couple hours at least. Let it get lukewarm and flat. You can do this quicker by pouring it back and forth between two glasses. (if you say, "ahhh.." each time you decant it, you just might make a spectator have to pee). Now move it to the metal mug.
2. Slowly add 1 tablespoon instant coffee. If you haven't liberated the carbon dioxide from the soda it'll foam like crazy. If it does, trash the whole mess and start again. Never ever drink a foam filled partial Black Zombie. No, seriously. Don't.
3. Add GF coffee in the same way..ie, slowly.
4. Resist urge to sing jingle.
5. The drink will appear kinda milky. But don't let this make you think it's foaming up: if it rose in volume, then it did. If it didn't, yer okay. Now stir like a rabid gerbil ...When you think yer done, you're wrong. Keep stirring. When you think it's been mixed evenly, slap yerself and just keep stirring.
6. Sprinkle it with or stir in the NoDoz (crushed, unless your friends happen to know the heimlich). At this point the Black Zombie is complete.