I am so sad.
I don't know how this came about, but I'm back to my old state of sadness and nostalgia and longing. I guess He will always be a part of my life that I can't get rid of and don't want to, yet I need to. He didn't call all weekend. I sat by the phone, and sighed as I fell asleep. I think things got weird again, and I think I know why. He got what He wanted from me, and now He doesn't need me anymore. What a sad and dejected state I am in now because of this! I am torn between calling Him up, telling Him that I love Him, and accepting the consequences. Or never speaking to Him again because as much as it hurts, its best in the long run. Or using Him for sex. This is something I need to work out. It just pains me to have to look at Him hugging His girlfriend (or whatever the hell she is now) and wishing it was me. It's been like this for six months, we've been through everything and every emotion and state of relatonships imaginable, and yet nothing has changed.
I still love Him and He doesn't love me.