...or the 'Saints', are the south of England's only premier league football club. The club was founded in 1885 and first reached the top division of English football in 1966. Eight years later they were relegated. When in the second division they enjoyed their greatest moment - a 1-0 shock win over the almighty Manchester United in the FA Cup final under the direction of legendary boss Lawrie Mcmenemy. That was in 1976: 2 years later they achieved a return to Division 1, and have stayed in the top flight ever since. They even finished 2nd to Liverpool in 1984, and played in the UEFA Cup - a major European competition - several times. The current manager is the feisty redhead Gordon Strachan, and the team captain is Jason Dodd. Their record signing is Rory Delap, who came from Derby for £4.3 million: their record sale is Dean Richards, who deserted them for the loathed Tottenham Hotspur in 2001 for over £8 million. Their biggest local rivals are Portsmouth, or 'Pompey': sadly, this team are so indescribably bad that they very rarely get to play each other as Portsmouth haven't ventured out of the lower divisions for some years now. (Sorry if I'm not maintaining much neutrality here.)

Their old home was The Dell, a 15 000 seater which, though intimidating for opposition sides thanks to it's intimate atmosphere, wasn't really capable of generating sufficient gate money for the premier league. In 2001 they waved goodbye to their beloved home and moved in to plush new surroundings at the 32 000 capacity St Mary's Stadium, which generates much more income for the club and should help them push on to the top half of the Premier League.

I've supported them since I was about eight, in 1991. Without question the single greatest player I've seen in that period is the almighty Matt Le Tissier, who was at one time probably the best player in the UK. He deserved to win many caps for England but never really got a sustained chance at international level. Supporting them is a pretty nervewracking experience - they've regularly brushed with relegation during that period, often surviving by the skin of their teeth on the final day of the season. They've had too many managers, really, and not enough consistency: whenever anyone starts doing well they leave - I'm thinking particularly of Glenn Hoddle, the former England boss, who jumped ship to his old club Tottenham Hotspur. Still, it's much more interesting than supporting some dull mid-table side - I'd rather have the excitement of perennial shitness than obscure mediocrity. Southampton are rubbish, but they're rubbish in style. A few awards:

    • Best game I've watched: beating Man U 6-3 at home. This was truly astonishing. We played like world champions. Who could forget Eyal Berkovic's stunning 30 yard strike?
      Best goal I've seen: Matt Le Tissier's against Blackburn. Showed incredible awareness to chip the 'keeper from the edge of the centre circle. Glorious.
      Best goalie: Tim Flowers. At one time a world record goalkeeper signing, for Blackburn from us. How times change, eh Timmie?
      Best defender: a tie between the solid Dean Richards, who loses points for leaving, and the thrilling youngster Wayne Bridge. At the time of writing he's getting geared up for the World Cup. Go Wayne! (PS - I went out last week and saw him in a bar. A friend of mine spoke to him in Winchester Notions: he said 'you're naaht going to the World Cup! (see the link for an explanation.) Wayne loked a little confused.)
      Ugliest player:Iain Dowie. Without question. Check out http://members.lycos.co.uk/SaintsPreserveUs/IainDowie.htm and you'll see what I mean.