Boston, Massachusetts (place)

Let's see. Among other things, Boston is known for:

• a multi generational grudge match between insane city planners, extremely hostile drivers, and even more dangerously psychotic pedestrians
• being the location of the Kingdom of Molasses' first strike against humanity (21 dead in the streets of the North End as ten foot waves of the stuff boiled people alive)
• smugly sucking up a hugely disproportionate share of federal highway funds to build the most expensive and over budget highway project in the world
• a #1 ranking in the PPI's New Economy Index resulting in part from a horrifying number of grad students and venture capitalists per capita
• pride in a local rebel group that instructed its members to look right into the eyes of the enemy before shooting them dead
• the most frantic pace of life of any North American city and proud of it
• OEM for Franklin, Hancock, Adams, Adams, Revere, Kennedy, and Bush. Well, actually maybe we'll pass on the latter two...
• and a reputation for general surliness that has enabled me to get double takes and suspicious looks around the world at my admission that

I
  AM
         BOSTONIAN...