I can feel it in me. I don't want to sit here and debug code, I want to do
things, I want to get stuff done and run and feel the air and smile and laugh and
celebrate life. Celebrate existence, and unity, move closer and draw
myself forwards and backwards, feel the rising. Desire inside me,
driving me, distracting me, whispering in my ear slowly to me.
Cause me to fidget,
cause me to be anxious, cause me to wonder
if I'll accomplish anything more today. It'll not be what I wanted
to, what rationality demands I do. Thoughts moving through my minds'
eye like clouds, playing with me, tormenting me, feeding on each
other, when all I want is
calm. Must calm myself. Breathe in, breathe out, and impose control.
Spring is... coming.
(March 15, 2001)