I never thought graduating from college would effect me quite like this.
And yet, on Thursday night as I walked back to my car from taking my very last final exam at Long Beach State, I was crying. I cried all the way back to Disneyland, where I had left a friend who was visiting from Toronto. I found him in Tomorrowland, hustled over to Splash Mountain, and got into a log filled with gorgeous boys just as the park was closing. Not a bad way to end the day, but the crying thing is still haunting me.
Earlier in the week I had spoken to one of my closest friends, a girl named Marisa that I have known since high school. We talked about college, graduation, and how we both have changed so much over the past six years. In the course of conversation, I discovered just how much those years had meant to me. We talked about the golden age of youth, and whether or not it even exists. I still haven't made any conclusions, but I'm also very afraid inside that all the fun I've been having these past few years is going to slowly fade into the more mundane routine of life more commonly associated with adulthood.
I really don't think I'm ready for that just yet.
I'm sorry, but I'm having too much fun. The past few years have changed me completely, inside to outside. How can I just switch into grown-up mode? I don't want this adventurous life to end just yet. And what all this boils down to is that on the one day when I should be rejoicing that I've finally finished school...I'm crying...
This isn't what I expected at all.