This is a theory of BDSM most commonly typified by a little story know as "The Gift, the Giver, the Rebel, the Thief, and the Stranger and his Glue". Typically marked by bad Internet poetry and mentioned in newbie rants.

The gift is meant to be a analogy for submission in this context. The idea is that submission will not be forced by a real dominant and that thus it can only be handed to him by his willing 'captive'. Often quoted as the cornerstone of the concept of SSC in BDSM.

To some in the BDSM community this is a rather upsetting concept. In their view it implies that the dominant in question has no claim on this so called gift and that it can be withdrawn at will with no penalty.

To recap, in this theory

  • The gift of submission is freely given but can also be withdrawn at any time.
  • The giver of the gift possesses the power.
  • The recipient of the gift possesses the power.
  • Submission is part of the power exchange between consensual partners