"Nobody tosses a dwarf!"
--Gimli, son of Gloin in the movie version of the book The Fellowship of the Ring.

The Fellowship is travelling through the mines of Moria, heading towards the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm, when they get a Balrog on their trail. A chase scene ensues. There is a perilous, Indiana Jones-like sequence with our heros racing down a crumbling stone staircase as the Balrog closes the distance behind them. A chasm opens in the staircase before them. Legolas jumps over, then helps Gandalf across. Boromir grabs Merry and Pippin and jumps over with them. Aragorn grabs Sam and tosses him across. He is about to do the same with Gimli the dwarf, but Gimli refuses, saying, "Nobody tosses a dwarf!" Gimli tries to jump the gap on his own and almost misses. Legolas grabs him by the beard to keep him from plunging into the abyss.

This line is nowhere to be found in the book written by J.R.R. Tolkien that the movie was based upon.


I like the movie version of The Fellowship of the Ring, but this one line bugs me. I'm not a Tolkein fanatic or purist. My objection has nothing to do with the sanctity of Tolkien's words or anything like that. This line is just too damned cute, that's all. Why would the screenwriter and director spend all that effort in creating a fantastical on-screen universe as whole as an egg, then destroy our suspension of disbelief just so they can give a sly little wink to the audience and get a cheap laugh out of it? It doesn't make sense to me.

Excuse me. I have to go grow myself a sense of humor now.