This morning, so early it is almost
blasphemous, my phone rang.
I mumbled a scratchy hello, and was confronted with an agitated-sounding woman demanding to talk to Harold.
Hmm? I'm not Harold . . . wait a minute . . .
"Who?"
"CAN I TALK TO HAROLD PLEASE!!"
"Sorry . . . " (wrestling with dream fog) "I don't know any Harold . . . "
"THIS IS HIS WIFE!"
"Uh . . . I'm sorry, I don't know Harold--"
"WELL HE WORKS AT HABITAT!"
(things click in my head) "Ohh. This isn't the number for Habitat for Humanity. For some reason I get their calls all the time, I think my number was posted as theirs somewhere because it's such a common mistake."
"OH, OKAY, SORRY!" (not sounding like she is)
"I think if you switch the last two digits of my number, you'll get Habitat."
"OKAY, THANK YOU."
Click.
Rolling over, going back to sleep, I think, Jeez, this number has been the same for over six years. Isn't it about time for those people to realize this isn't Habitat for Humanity?
About twice a month, I get random calls like this, or strange messages on my voicemail asking me to pick up the couches or to have Susan call Tricia. I'd found out that apparently the real Habitat for Humanity's phone number is mine with the last two digits reversed, though I don't know if I got in a phone book or an informational listing or just a very well distributed flyer, or what, but it's been a somewhat regular thing since I went to college five and a half years ago, and it was my roommates' number before that.
Pondering this this morning, I wasn't given the time to go back to sleep, because the phone rang again.
(scratchy voice) "Hello . . . ?"
"OH. SORRY."
Oh shit, not her again. "Uh, that's okay . . . " No it isn't, quit waking me up, I went to bed three hours ago!
"WHEN YOU SAID THE LAST TWO NUMBERS WERE SWITCHED, WHAT DID YOU MEAN?"
This isn't that difficult. "I mean the last two digits of the phone number."
"SO WHAT'S THE NUMBER?"
Jeez, not only rude but stupid . . . "My number's 373-5726, so their number would be 373-5762."
"OKAY. THANK YOU."
Click.
(mumbling to self) "If she calls again I'm not answering."
She called again. I didn't answer. Just tuned out the phone and let the voicemail get it.
I also managed to tune out my alarm clock, thanks to her.
And when I got up, there were messages on my voicemail.
You have THREE unheard messages.
"Shit!"
First message. Sent TODAY at 6:01 AM.
(Muffled crackling noise and distorted speech as if
cell phone isn't working, obvious annoyed and urgent voice,
unintelligible.)
End of message. To repeat message, press 1--
(
Delete)
Next message. Sent TODAY at 6:21 AM.
Click.
End of message. To repeat message, press 1. To save it in the archives, press 2--
"Why the hell would I save a
hangup?"
(Delete)
Next message. Sent TODAY at 7:23 AM.
"HELLO. I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO
HAROLD. THIS IS HIS
WIFE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT."
End of message. To repeat--
(
Delete)
Goddamn it all to hell--you'd think if she was his wife, she'd know his damn work number. There is no excuse for stupidity like this, especially after I gave her the right number. I should note my answering machine does not say anything about Habitat for Humanity on it, and is actually rather goofy and urges you to leave nice messages only or the answering machine won't let me know you called. You'd think people would quit ignoring what other people say and actually listen. But no. She was determined to call me five times before 8:00 and cause me to sleep through my alarm. There is no freaking excuse for this. I am pissed.
In other news, they made a mistake on my paycheck, and I'm not gonna tell them it's there because it made me get more money--they put me in for vacation pay for one more day than I was actually supposed to get. :) Aww, it'd be so tough to fix, so bollocks to them.