a true savior of those having an obsession with networking. while jesus could heal the sick and raise the dead, the network messiah also has many divine powers. his miracles include finding lost packets and giving ip addresses to ordinary appliances such as toasters, coffee makers, coke machines, washing machines, squirrels, and microwaves. he often appears in robes and a crown of cat 5 to those in dire need of his expertise. the origin and birthdate of the network messiah is unknown.