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See, here's the thing about using penis pens. When you write something in pen, it's there to stay. You write it down proudly, with confidaence, unlike 'em pencil-using sissies! You write it down because you mean it, and you know it's correct, and you know it's quality writing.

Nothing is as satisfying as writing down that QED in a proof and stabbing your pen into the paper in a final period. It's like thrusting your sword into the disfigured carcass of your freshly slain opponent. Take that, bitch.

Writing in pen is a sign of honesty. Those pencil wielding sorts will write down their feeble letters, then erase them and write down better ones as though no mistake was ever made! What is this shit? Well, that may all be fair and nice for somebody with no spine or balls, but we don't hide our mistakes. If this rare case of a mistake occurs, we cross the word out with a violent scratch. That's right, it'll be ugly, but mistakes are ugly. And when you read our mutilated papers, at least you will know we are honest.

Writing in pen puts you in the hobbit habbit habit of thinking before writing down things things down. Why is this good? Well, it translates to conversations. You can't erase your words when talking, so you might as well get used to it. We proud pen users think before we write, and think before we speak.

When we are done our math tests (30 minutes before everybody else, and getting every single problem right) us we pen users can use our pens to draw on our hands. Worrying about ink poisoning is for pussies sissies. It's just something pencil users invented to promote their agenda. We walk out of our tests looking like pimp-ass tattooed warriors.

You know you're a real man when you write in pen. Or a real woman, but it doesn't sound quite as catchy.