A phenomenon I recently noticed while viewing in a
Corporate Theater in
Phoenix,
Arizona:
Hoi polloi of the world think they are smarter than this movie. There I am, sitting in the second row (damn those crowds!) trying as I might to enjoy the movie and forget about the building pain in my neck, and about this time our loveable hero, Chuck Noland arrives on his desert island. Enter the phenomenon.
Fat white people all around me, sitting in their reclined cushioned seats, suddenly become experts on survival. These people have never been out of their car in a national park, but once camped in the city park with their Boy Scout troop when they were 11. Apparently while driving their Cadillac Escalades and eating Easy Cheese, they picked up on how to survive on a desert island. Loudly to everyone around them, stranger or not, these people attempt to show off their wide array of knowledge.
"Ya gotta drill a hole in the coconut!"
”Well yuh better put on shoes before yuh go walkin’ in the water.”
Dont-chya-no yer flashlight is on?”
”duh.”
Now don’t get me wrong, I felt the temptation myself. As a SAS Survival Guide-toting outdoorsman, I know my way ‘round a punji stick or two. I noticed the stuff that our Mr. Noland could have done better, but did I let everyone and their mother around me know about it? Hell no!
So beware this phenomenon and these people when you go out and see the latest Hanks Academy Award machine. And whatever you do, don’t become one of them.