First, let me say I empathize with you. But think about it this way, they're probably not the type of guys you'd want anyways... so they're really saving you the trouble of ditching them. Gotta think positive.
I think the trick about finding a guy who wouldn't run away is to find an NT or Rational temperament type boy, and then make sure he was raised in a large city around feminist type influences. Then you'll have the following things you desire:
- Can actually do dishes
- May or may not mind armpit hair
- Attracted to intelligence
- Can keep up intellectually
- Can have heated "discussions"
These guys exist. I'm not really sure how rare they may or may not be. Considering that the Rational temperament comprises anywhere from 6 to 10% of the entire population, it may be quite rare indeed. Espeically depending on where you are, because us Rationals (yes I am one) are attracted to big cities where we can engage in evil plans.
For the record, I am one of the kind of guys I wrote about here. However, I'm hoping that there are more, because we need guys like this. Additionally I do not find hair a turn off, and I'm still looking for super-intelligent women.