I can no longer stand living with my parents. They are making my life miserable and I just want to runaway from them.
I spent to whole day at my grandmothers today just to stay away from them. They have been treating me like shit lately and not allowing me to socialize with my friends. I have not talked to any of my friends today and it's pissing me off. I just wanted to talk to anyone of them and none of them are online when my parents allow me to get online. The fuck with my parents.
My uncle barbequed some meat for me and my cousin today. My uncle and cousin sat for almost 3 hours talking to each other about how my cousin's father would never punish him and how his father would say Son I love you on a consistent basis. I wanted to scream out and say "FATHER I HATE YOU". I listened to them for a while and couldn't take anymore. I walked away and laid down on the levy and cried. I cried for almost 2 hours straight trying to figure out why in hell my father never told me he loved me or showed me any sign of affection and then why nobody has ever shown me any affection or anything of that sort. I want to cry. I walked back down after I had calmed myself. My uncle went to bed shortly after It was about 12:15 and me and my cousin stayed outside around the fire. We talked for almost 5 hours about certain things and smoked 1 1/2 packs of cigarettes between the both of us.
I learned things that I had never known about my cousin last night that I just can't quite believe.sigh... I have to find a someone else I can talk to. I need someone other than family to talk to. Someone that will understand me and what makes me tick and what I feel like. I want someone I can cry on. Someone that I can call late at night when I feel bad and laugh and cry with. Someone that won't turn her back on me when I need her most. God dammit why haven't I found someone like this
Fuck it.
I'll never find someone...boo fuckin hoo
I need to get out of here today. I need to leave my house and get away from these people that call themselves my parents. Fuck I hate them I need to get away from here. Someone take me away.....please.......