You didn't have to say a word,
  I could just tell what this was.
    This was all just a waste of time,
      and you'll never love me. What a waste.

 

Earlier tonight I went and saw a movie with a fairly good friend of mine. She's been my friend for a little over a year now, and she's a great person. I really liked her. I always have since I've known her, the last 13 or so months. And I still do.

It's pretty much been on and off with her, for myself. I always did like her, but there were times when I would just forget about it for a bit. As well, there were times when all I could think about was her. Every thought in my head had her name somewhere in it. I thought I was going to go insane. She never really liked me in the same way though. Twice told me I wasn't her type and wouldn't go out with me, but for whatever reason I persisted. There lies the problem.

But the last few weeks, for whatever reason, I was confident. I thought that maybe something could happen soon in time. I persisted further, called her more, talked to her more, got together with her more. I thought, at that point, things between me and her were the best they ever were. I don't think I'm wrong, I just think I was thinking too highly.

Just tonight though, there was something about this particular time and how it went. Something -- not even what she said or how she acted -- brought me back to reality; told me that, just as always, she wasn't interested in me and never would be. Had I been wasting my time? Should I have not been so confident, even so briefly? Do I try and forget about her forever? Do I...

...no, it doesn't matter what I do.