(thing) by thyme Tue Jul 09 2002 at 4:50:45

sorry.
the flip video.

"No con, no connivance, no contrivance. Plain, clear, simple talent. Extreme Games... kiss my ass!" -Johnny Rotten

    ____   _____
        \  |          Not suitable for anyone
      __/  |____	 	   under the age of 35
        \       \	    still living with their parents
    ____/  _____/

   Not to be supplied to anyone with the above description

	THEME/OTHER      Skateboarding
	LANGUAGE         Some Profanity
	SEX/NUDITY       Partial
	VIOLENCE         Occasional

Warning! Skate within your abilities. Injury or death may result from improper use. Wear safety gear. Follow traffic/pedestrian rules.

Sorry. The long awaited skate video from the skateboarding company Flip is finally here. The 2001 and 2002 Transworld Team of the Year releases their first video since forming in 1994. Mostly filmed in Europe, their international team (no Americans at the time the video was released) kills every skatespot they visit. The video is hosted, Masterpiece Theater-style, by the one and only Johnny Rotten. His obnoxious, hammy, and over the top commentary, permanent sneer, and bleached hair accented by a snaking line of black embody everything we have come to know and love in the former Sex Pistols singer.

"'course there's a million an' one reasons why this little film took so long to make, but the major one is this: as brilliant as they are on their skateboards, they're fucking idiots off them." -Johnny Rotten

The video kicks off with a part from Mark Appleyard. His part is a perfect showcase of modern street skating. He gridns massive handrails, jumps down flights of stairs, and executes amazing flip tricks at will.

Ali Boulala: "He's punk, he's Arabic, and he's Swede. How's that for a combination, eh?" Flip's resident member of skateboarding's punk rock resurgence contributes the majority of the video's PARENTAL ADVISORY tags. He moons the camera and wears a pair of exposed plastic breasts (NUDITY), smashes a car windshield with his skateboard (VIOLENCE), muttering, "fucker owes me money," is humped by a dog (SEX/DEVIANT BEHAVIOR), and drinks constantly (DRUGS/ALCOHOL). This young ruffian was deported from the U.S., not simply because of his ethnic background, but because he found himself unable to comply with the country's more stringent drinking age. His punk rock posturing would be less easy to swallow if he didn't back it up with an incredibly gnarly video part. Most memorably, he attempts to jump down a flight of twenty-five stairs that has to be at least two stories tall, nearly breaking his legs in two at the knees.

Alex Chalmers, Canadian stuntman and concrete park skater extraordinaire, contributes the next part. We first meet him looking quite respectable, in a stylish suit, and next, he is fired out of a cannon into a car's windsheild. All in a day's work. Massive airs are de rigeur for Chalmers, whose stomping grounds in Vancouver, B.C. include some of the best concrete parks on the west coast. Chalmers is known to drink a six pack, or even a 12 pack case, of Coca-Cola in a single day, so his part is accompanied by skate legend Steve Caballero's band, The Faction, playing "Let's Go Get Cokes."

Young Bastien Salabanzi, born in the Congo and "passing himself off as French for now," is next. His tricks are some of the most progressive and amazing in the video. Bastien's skating takes the style of modern "technical" skateboarding, which incorporates alot of flippy tricks in combination with grinds and manuals, and turns it up to eleven. He flips into, or out of, nearly all of his grinds on large handrails and ledges. At the age of 15, he is already the European and World Champion.

One of Flip's biggest stars, Geoff Rowley, gleams the cube in the next sequence, with the dulcet strains of Gray Matter's punk rock cover of the Beatles' "I Am the Walrus" providing his soundtrack. "He's vegan, and he likes little furry animals. He likes his pussy. Apparently he's as hard as nails, but I don't five a FUCK, cause I just fluff dicks!" (Johnny Rotten) Geoff backs up his reputation in the first few seconds of his part, enduring two whiplash-inducing, skull-cracking, ass-kicking wrecks with only the offhand comment, "well, that felt fucking tasty, I'd like to do it again." His part is another taste of the best modern street skating has to offer. Notably, he grinds down a massive "Hubba" ledge at Los Angeles' Staples Center and frontside flips over the LA river for a Vans advertisement. Otherwise, his tricks are uniformly amazing. His part also includes a short cameo by amazing vert-ramp skater Danny Way.

Copenhagen, Denmark's Rune Glifberg, Flip's only vert skater, begins his part with some amazing old-school pool footage, and with an appearance pool master Salba. He sessions vert god Bob Burnquist's massive backyard vert ramp, legend Tony Hawk's ramp, the monstrous DC Shoe Company vert ramp, and the Volcom ramp.

Tom Penny's part in the video is perhaps the most anticipated of all. An amazing skater who suddenly dissappeared from the limelight several years ago, he is surrounded by rumor and myth. "Did he quit, or is he dead? NO! He's hiding out in France, and it took the likes of me to tell you!" (Johnny Rotten) Tom Penny's self-imposed French exile brings us to his quaint stone cottage in the French countryside... his quaint stone cottage which contains a mini-ramp and spartan living quarters. As Edith Piaf sings "La vie en rose," Tom Penny's part begins... and ends that quickly. Major let-down.

Finnish skater Arto Saari: "He almost died twice while making this film." A cartoon of Arto qrinding down a large rail, screaming, and being pitched onto his head opens his part. As cartoon Arto spews vomit and falls out of consciousness, the cartoon fades into real footage of an ashen-faced Saari lying in a pool of his own vomit at the base of a rail. He is carried off into an ambulance, and we see him in a hospital, hooked up to oxygen, with the spectre of the grim reaper hovering over his prone body. He slips out of consciousness...

...and the Velvet Underground's "Venus in Furs" begins to play, revealing a messianic-looking Tom Penny, who proceeds to give his real part, presented as Arto's delerium-induced hallucinations. Reverb soaked and effects laden footage of amazing skating by Penny follows. This is what we've all been waiting for. And finally, a pair of David Bowie tunes accompany Arto's full part.

All in all, the skating in "sorry." may not push the "sport" of skateboarding forward as forcefully as revolutionary videos such as "Video Days," but it is probably one of the best skateboarding films of the year, if not the last few years.

"Forget your extreme games, your silly skatepark rules, your stupid looking safety equipment, because this video has nothing at all to do with that. Enjoy, or die." -Johnny Rotten

Soundtrack:

Since I feel that the database should encompass EVERYTHING, I am going to go ahead and node this little piece of the subculture of skateboarding, even though its intricacies may be unfamilliar to most noders. Node for the ages.
I like it!