There are times when I really feel like
giving up, you know? Times when it seems like it would be easier to throw in the towel and become a
hermit, because at least then I wouldn't have to
pacify so goddamn many people and I wouldn't have to count on people that seem to
constantly fail me. Those times are the reasons I actually made an
mp3 list of "
sad songs."
Gratefully, today is not one of those days. I got a kitty yesterday.
It sounds strange, probably. I'm a person who is clinically depressed, yet unmedicated (by my choice) - it would seem odd that a little furry animal would make me feel better ... but it seems to make all the difference in the world.
I've been lonely lately. I broke up with my SO of a year and a half, a lot of my friends are out of town for the summer, I work too much, go to summer school, then come home to an empty house because my roommate would rather watch her boyfriend sleep than see me.
I've had better summers.
Then, my ex got me a kitten yesterday. Apprently, someone was giving them away, and he saw her and immediately thought of me (my last cat was killed six months ago). Since I've been sleeping alone (and, conversely, I sleep even worse than usual), he thought that a cat would help.
I think it does. When I start to drop, start feeling that slow descent that I know so well, I have someone to pick up and give loves to who completely and totally adores me. She'll never let me down, she'll never leave me, and she'll never tell me that she loves me when she doesn't mean it.
Hell, I don't need a girlfriend. I just need a cat.