A tactic commonly used by people in relationships with a person of the same sex. Utilized for many reasons, but usually out of either fear of being "un-closeted," a particularly inopportune moment to be honest (like when your grandmother, at Thanksgiving dinner, says "So, I hear you've been dating again. What's he like?"), or any other of the great variety of reasons to allow the conversation to remain a little unclear.

How to Play the Game


Any time someone refers to your significant other or your prospects for one, avoid using a name (unless it is a non-gender-specific name, like Chris or Pat) AND a pronoun. Something along the lines of "Oh, WE are doing quite well, thank you. Well, we're both so busy, it's hard for us to socialize with other couples, but I'll see when we're both out of work tomorrow." or "Well, I'm just waiting for the right person." seem to work very well.

Simple! Easy! Fun!

Sort of.

Actually, although this is half-satrical, there is a lot of truth to it. The pronoun game ends up being a part of many gay people's daily life - it only seems to differ in degree from person to person.

Also a useful tool for bisexuals, in particular. Bisexual people often end up playing the pronoun game with EVERYONE, but for a different person. Particularily when referring to romantic prospects, bisexuals have to use more inclusive, less specific pronouns when describing people and interests - logistically, if a bisexual woman says that she's just "waiting to meet the right man," that's only half of the truth.

Try playing this for one day, even if you're straight. See how hard it is to live in a society that expects certain people to "keep that kind of thing to themselves."