I am craving stability.
Today I had a talk with one of my
profs. I'm currently a
Junior undergraduate, working on a
History B.A. I've been thinking a lot of
graduate school, and had for the past few years harbored hopes of someday becoming a
professor myself. You know, teach a few classes, translate a few
ancient manuscripts, and generally enjoy life while getting paid. The good life.
I'd heard some
vicious rumors about a job shortage for
PhDs, especially for jobs in the
humanities. These were mostly from the uneducated
unwashed masses, i.e. my family. "You'll end up a
taxi driver," they said. "You'll end up
flipping burgers." And I would mentally respond, "I'll show you!" And as the facts on the matter became more and more clear, I gradually shifted to "I may fail, but it'll be cool!" I didn't really know the full extent of things until today, though, when I had a chat with a venerable old
hippie.
He told me about the
glory days when he was just out of graduate school, and
universities were rapidly expanding and adding more
tenure track positions. He was one of the
lucky few of his friends to get such a position. Most of the others became
itinerant scholars, like ghosts of
academia, forced to wander the earth without rest. Eventually they all settled down to teach
high school.
Pity.
While I'd like to think that no learning can ever truly be a waste, it sure seems
damn close to waste when you spend 8 years accruing debt, living below the
poverty line, and chasing a graduate degree that in the end can not get you a job. If you're going to teach
high school, just get a degree in teaching high school. Get yourself a
wife, get yourself a
job. That sort of thing.
I'd had a few backup careers in mind.
Journalism,
Law,
Actuary. These all seem like high-pressure, high-competition, high-workload jobs. Not my
cup of tea.
So I'm
doing a 180. I always liked
math, and I've just now completed a math
minor, along with my halfway-done
History degree. I think now I'll pursue a Mathematics
Education degree, which will take me to a fifth year here at
Purdue.
It's sad. But it's time to stop
blithely assuming that my future will work itself out. Abandon silly
dreams and
face the music.
So it goes.