These days change us.
Woke up at 11 this morning with what may have just been a migraine, or maybe a tiny bit of a hangover. I do not do alcohol very well, and keep forgetting that I hate tequila. I made it to church by 12:15 though...
Note to the ladies out there: Body by Victoria bandeau bras worn under tank tops make the latter decent enough to wear to church. I would not recommend this for all churches, though. Or all tank tops.
Ryan is in San Francisco right now for his brother's graduation. I told him goodbye this afternoon... felt bad that I couldn't kiss him but there were so many people around. Public displays of affection are not something I feel particularly comfortable with, especially around the group of people we were with. I keep wondering if I think too much, if I am too cautious about everything regarding this Relationship Thing that is so very new to me. Maybe I should relax a little and just let things happen... at least that is what everyone is telling me to do, so it must be good advice, right?
Anyway, as he went off to his apartment to pack, I went out to Fort Worth to help a friend clean out his mother's apartment. She passed away last Wednesday due to lung cancer. She was 50. She was beautiful. He seems to be handling things very well, almost to the point where I worry about him. When my dad died, I was overly emotional and could not get anything done, while my friend is being incredibly methodical and productive. I only saw him cry--once, at the funeral. And I feel so powerless; I have been here before myself and I should know what to do. But all I can do for him is what he asks for... and I don't feel like that is enough.
But what more can I do? Maybe this is enough. The six of us that were there today got a lot of things done as a group that would have been hell for him to go through on his own. We all laughed, reminisced, debated the evils of Pokemon and Reader's Digest; it was like just any other day, except we would have been doing this in the Canterbury parlor instead of his mother's living room. It is a bittersweet feeling... I'm glad we could be there for him, but I wish that we didn't have to be... that everything in life would just be perfect, always, and we would never have to say goodbye or watch our friends have to.