Ahhh, morning. It's garbage day. And recycling day. And bill-paying day. So all that just amplifies the sickening feeling that comes as the 16 oz. sweetened-no-lemon iced tea (yup, glass bottle) slips clumsily from your fingers as you fetch it from the fridge, headed for the hard tile floor. A million tiny shards of glass and sticky, sugary tea burst forth all over the kitchen floor.

So, how to clean it up?

Pick up the big pieces first. This is tricky, if you aren't wearing shoes.

Wipe up the liquid, preferrably with something you can just toss out, like that copy of your dissertation or the sweater your ex mistakenly left at your house.

Still pretty sticky, eh? And there are tiny bits of glass everywhere. No really, EVERYWHERE. Can you really go to work and leave it like that? No, no, no.

Sweep the floor.

Mop it.

Burn your broom and mop. They are hopelessly infested with glass splinters, and you need to have some fun out of this experience, don't you?

Whew, you are done. The newspaper is unread, breakfast is uneaten , and the bills still have to be paid and the garbage wrangled. And you are late for work.