user since
Fri Jun 8 2001 at 12:22:47 (21.3 years ago )
last seen
Fri Aug 26 2005 at 17:54:07 (17.1 years ago )
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creating order out of chaos; indecision; vagueness
Life is life.
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home run
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current ideas for E2 nodes...

Valium is the best drug (for me) in the world, and I miss it, every day. I was the most content, energetic, motivated, outgoing, and brightest (yes, brightest) person that I've ever been--before or after that time when I had those little yellow (or sometimes blue) pills in my bloodstream. I even drank less and exercised a lot, though I did smoke a lot of cigarettes in those days. I made the dean's list--astounding. I do have a few regrets during that time: I wasn't always the most steadfast friend; I didn't always plan ahead or think of the consequences of my actions. I didn't hurt anyone close to me (that I know of), but I also didn't support them as well as I could have either. Since that time, while my life hasn't exactly gone to shit, I've always felt a little less than "complete". And I don't care about the people that say that it doesn't count if you achieve happiness or contentment or euphoria by artificial means: the hell with the self-righteous bastards. If I had a way to find a supply of Valium without sacrificing my family or my job -- I suppose I do have my limits -- I would do it. If it meant that I would live ten years less, I think I would still do it. I love Valium. I miss it every day. (Especially the nice blue ones.) -->

Thanks, Roninspoon.
    Thanks, wertperch.
        Thanks, Gritchka.
            Thanks, Gritchka (again).
        Thanks, dotc.
    Thanks, Lometa.
Thanks, TheBooBooKitty.
    Thanks, Gritchka (again).
        Thanks, Gamaliel.
    Thanks, dotc.
Thanks, sid.
    Thanks, Posmella.
        Thanks, sid (again).

I am a mathematician. I am here to explain the world to you now.

things I'd like to do before I die:
  • navigate the length of every major river in Texas (plus the Navasota)
  • drive the length of Texas 16, from the Red River in the north, to the Mexican border and the Rio Grande
  • visit New Orleans
  • publish a song
  • learn to play the violin
  • have someone thank me for something I did long ago without motive
  • visit St. Louis Bay
  • visit the Oregon coast
  • sail a sailboat
  • visit Greece
  • finish reading Ulysses
  • see Sarah again, apologize for being such a shit, and thank her for blessing this world with her presence for a little while