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"I'm a level five Vegan. I don't eat anything that has a shadow."
-- The Simpsons

A person between the ages of thirteen and nineteen whom takes it upon themselves to adopt a cause for which the purportedly feel strongly. It's fun and easy, too! First, make sure you fit the above age criteria. Then, pick a topic from the following list:

Now, become vehemently pro or con on the subject, to the point that you would stab someone with the opposing viewpoint in the eye. The real trick, however, is to appear as if you care about whatever is is you're all riled up over without holding any true feelings regarding the subject. It brings to my mind doublethink from Orwell's 1984, but, trust me, its not that deep. Now, the coup de grace, change your topic atleast every two months and at most every day. Congratulations, you are now a teenage moral hobbyist.